War Commander Gifts

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

ISIS needle in a haystack.

Sailing enthusiast brings his hobby to his office.

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

'No. No. Don't bomb them now. Wait until morning, when the birds are singing and the air is alive with a sense of possibility.'

'That's my mom... she's sort of a CEO, an action committee, and a janitor all rolled up into one.'

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

'Peace' in our time.

'I found it on Craig's List.'

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

P.O.W. !! to US credibility.

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

The press under fire

'War, drought, famine, diseases: Boy I love the news...'

"It's from Private Ryan...Wish you were here."

Nancy Wake -French resistance fighter WW11

'Shame on you! Stop torturing the poor Palestinians, you nazi-like, baby killing war monger!'

'Rabbit Leader here, No, you may NOT return to base because your sock keeps botching up,'

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

'Why do you always get to be the tanks?'

'This one is for being the TV war commentator who didn't blast Rumsfeld.'

USS Party Time.

'Here's a field can opener, you may need it to cut yourself out of your tank.'