Conference Dodger Gifts

"If you wouldn't book hotels with such great amenities, I wouldn't miss so many seminars."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Inclusive speech

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"You need to stop taking your work home with you. Take mine instead."

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Chaos Theory Conference.

'Pick a business card.'

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"Any yet he's always on my case."