Conference Dodger Gifts

"If you wouldn't book hotels with such great amenities, I wouldn't miss so many seminars."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Inclusive speech

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"You need to stop taking your work home with you. Take mine instead."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

Chaos Theory Conference.

'Pick a business card.'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"....which brings me to number one: Thinking inside the box."

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,