Coffee Dodger Gifts

Also I don't like coffee, so I'll be working through my coffee breaks.

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"Any yet he's always on my case."

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT

Jenkins won't be here today. He just called in healthy.

"My doctor thinks I should lose weight but everyone at the doughnut shop said she's crazy."

"If only you could do this in real life..."

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

"You could try watching your diet or getting more exercise – but you'll just be delaying the inevitable."

'Let's just say, if you were meat, you'd be way past your 'best before' date!'

'I didn't know it was so dangerous. . . Mac's coffee.'

Revenuers will be shot.

'Instead of brushing my teeth can't I just chew on one of his dog biscuits?'

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

'You mean that's all you ever read, designer labels?'

"You should have been here at eight!"

'Cheer up, Mr. Laping. It's only until the fishing season is over.'