Dish Dodger Gifts

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

Nun Binning the Devil

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT

Also I don't like coffee, so I'll be working through my coffee breaks.

Hunter hits duck with ejected shell.

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

"My doctor thinks I should lose weight but everyone at the doughnut shop said she's crazy."

The Demon's Disguise

"You could try watching your diet or getting more exercise – but you'll just be delaying the inevitable."

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

'Instead of brushing my teeth can't I just chew on one of his dog biscuits?'

'Cheer up, Mr. Laping. It's only until the fishing season is over.'

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

Motivation

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

'Dinner.'

Man Gagging In A Restaurant.

"Accursed global warming!"

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

'Bless this spinach, albeit the work of the devil.'

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

THERE IS A MOUSE IN THE HOUSE... WHERE IS THE CAT?

'You can uncover your eyes now, dear. The dessert cart is out of sight.'

"I am sticking to the diet. This is just a fat jumper."

"An office job would drive me crazy!...sitting at a desk all day!"

'Crystal! You didn't duck and cover! If this wasn't just a drill and I had been a real deranged fan, you'd be soaked in beer right now!'

"I see Rover has introduced himself to you?"