Dish Dodger Gifts

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

Nun Binning the Devil

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Also I don't like coffee, so I'll be working through my coffee breaks.

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

Hunter hits duck with ejected shell.

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

"My doctor thinks I should lose weight but everyone at the doughnut shop said she's crazy."

The Demon's Disguise

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

"You could try watching your diet or getting more exercise – but you'll just be delaying the inevitable."

'Instead of brushing my teeth can't I just chew on one of his dog biscuits?'

'Cheer up, Mr. Laping. It's only until the fishing season is over.'

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

Motivation

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

'Dinner.'

"Accursed global warming!"

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

Man Gagging In A Restaurant.

THERE IS A MOUSE IN THE HOUSE... WHERE IS THE CAT?

'Bless this spinach, albeit the work of the devil.'

'You can uncover your eyes now, dear. The dessert cart is out of sight.'

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

"I am sticking to the diet. This is just a fat jumper."

'Crystal! You didn't duck and cover! If this wasn't just a drill and I had been a real deranged fan, you'd be soaked in beer right now!'

"An office job would drive me crazy!...sitting at a desk all day!"

"I see Rover has introduced himself to you?"

It's always such a relief when the first resolution falls!