Dessert Dodger Gifts

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

Motivation

'You can uncover your eyes now, dear. The dessert cart is out of sight.'

'Dessert be gone.'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

"Quick conference...this is rhubarb pie...do we like it or not?"

'You hate to see this kind of thing.'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

Also I don't like coffee, so I'll be working through my coffee breaks.

"My doctor thinks I should lose weight but everyone at the doughnut shop said she's crazy."

"You could try watching your diet or getting more exercise – but you'll just be delaying the inevitable."

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

'Carrot cake!.. What's next?.. Broccoli cake?'

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, the menu clearly says 'Death by Chocolate'."

Mum ices cake with 'hands off'.

'You want a piece of me?'

'You can stop looking guys, i found it ! The PROOF is in the pudding!' A detective finds a photo, proof of a murder in a bowl of pudding.

'He was using eggplant - another tragic case of apple pie fraud.'

'...I still the the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top!'

Weight Loss Clinic: Break glass in case of emergency.

Ginger Breadman

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

Reasons to avoid training No 234 - "I was on my way to the gym but then I heard that the DOW JONES had fallen 2.5%."