Conference Competitor Gifts

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Staying Competitive in Business' Conference

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

How to deliver a successful presentation.

City Marathon.

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

World Hunger Conference.

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

Chaos Theory Conference.

'Pick a business card.'

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"....which brings me to number one: Thinking inside the box."

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

"Dr Andrea Patterson; animal behaviour."

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

"Psychiatric convention"

"This isn't what I expected when I signed up for the 'What Men Think' talk."