College Rival Gifts

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

Tension filled the tent.

Genius Envy

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

'The grudge match.'

An Archeologic Dig

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

"I love college."

A heated argument between dons of applied maths and ancient history.

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

"I love spending time together as a family. It brings us together. It makes us stronger. It helps us understand each other."

Campus Library. How was your Russian poetry class? Rhyme and punishment.

Contest to enter the University

'You're an interesting combination of shallow and thick.'

Awesome. Now let's try this with bottles.

I won! I finished my pizza first! Want to make it two out of three?

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

Pardon me, I think you dropped this. Ivy League Football Is Different.

'Knock it off, you two. This is why I hate double dating.'

'I'd invite you in, but I'm way too young to settle for less.'

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

"I think it's unquestionably the finest letter you've ever written to the 'Yale Alumni Magazine.'"

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge