College Rival Gifts

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Tension filled the tent.

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

Genius Envy

'The grudge match.'

An Archeologic Dig

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

"I love college."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

A heated argument between dons of applied maths and ancient history.

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

"I love spending time together as a family. It brings us together. It makes us stronger. It helps us understand each other."

'You're an interesting combination of shallow and thick.'

Contest to enter the University

Awesome. Now let's try this with bottles.

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

'Knock it off, you two. This is why I hate double dating.'

'I'd invite you in, but I'm way too young to settle for less.'

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

"I think it's unquestionably the finest letter you've ever written to the 'Yale Alumni Magazine.'"

'Can we have a starter for ten, please?'

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge