Conference Competitor T-Shirts

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Staying Competitive in Business' Conference

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

How to deliver a successful presentation.

City Marathon.

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

World Hunger Conference.

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Chaos Theory Conference.

'Pick a business card.'

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

"Dr Andrea Patterson; animal behaviour."

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

"Psychiatric convention"

"....which brings me to number one: Thinking inside the box."

"This isn't what I expected when I signed up for the 'What Men Think' talk."

Company Performance - Bonus Scheme