Conference Champion T-Shirts

'To sum up, today's business world can be divided into 2 categories: companies that get it, and companies that don't!' 'Get what?' 'Make that 3 categories.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

How to deliver a successful presentation.

Couples' therapy

Teamwork

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

WHO checklist

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

World Hunger Conference.

Teamwork: Innovation, Success, Evaluation, Development, Growth, Solution, Progess, Market.

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

Chaos Theory Conference.

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

'Pick a business card.'

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

Open Source.

"....which brings me to number one: Thinking inside the box."