Conference Champ Gifts

Anyone else need a toilet break?

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

Couples' therapy

Teamwork

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

WHO checklist

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

World Hunger Conference.

Teamwork: Innovation, Success, Evaluation, Development, Growth, Solution, Progess, Market.

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'Let me present today's speaker.'

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

Chaos Theory Conference.

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

'Pick a business card.'

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

"Dr Andrea Patterson; animal behaviour."

"....which brings me to number one: Thinking inside the box."