Conference Kingpin Gifts

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

7th Monkey Business Conference: 'Thanks, but I don't need the microphone: I'm a howler monkey...'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Inclusive speech

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Mr. Blok goes bowling.

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

Will work for Food Network.

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

Chaos Theory Conference.

'Pick a business card.'

"Dr Andrea Patterson; animal behaviour."

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"Psychiatric convention"