Conference King Gifts

Come to think of it...I owe all my drive, focus and ambition to credit card debt.

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

The interested bystanders.

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'Guess what? I won again.'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Conference Pears

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'And in conclusion.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

Communication Breakdowns

Chaos Theory Conference.

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...