Conversation King Gifts

Before the airbag, there was the windbag.

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

"She can be outspoken."

Chatterbox Podium

Man with landline phone coming out of his head.

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"I know. I miss him, too."

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

The Art of Bantering!

'Your 40th? Well maybe if you're talking about the number of cans you've had!'

Bar Therapy

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

Man swipes friend's drink, saying: 'Thanks Dave, I'll have what you're having.'

'Why so stony-faced?'

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

'Yes, I laugh at most things, but it doesn't mean I can't have a serious conversation...'

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

'Mind you, this isn't a secret I'd tell just everybody.'

Ok, I'm back. Sorry about the screaming.

And what kind of banter do you want with that? I got light, witty, or wry. Breakfast.

'Do you think we need more conversation in our relationship?'

'Let's go some place where we can walk.'

"Watch out for Bernie...he's a man of few words but a lot of gestures."

Come to think of it...I owe all my drive, focus and ambition to credit card debt.