Conference Attendance Gifts

'All these conferences look the same.'

'I hope they provide heaters and a change of clothing.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

The interested bystanders.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

Conference Pears

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'And in conclusion.'

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Communication Breakdowns

Chaos Theory Conference.

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'