Conference Attendee Gifts

This may help you understand my presentation.

A giveaway tan line...

"No one will take me seriously in these shoes."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

We'll take coffee, tea, soda, whatever. We're into flex fuels.

'Excuse me could we concentrate on the seminar please.'

'Pick a business card.'

"We were out-gunned from the get-go. We're fidget spinners and they're Rubik's Cube."

Anyone else need a toilet break?

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"

Ann had seen many amazing things at science meetings in the last 20 years, but the most amazing thing was seeing another woman.

'All these conferences look the same.'

'I'm singin' in the rain, what a glorious geelin', I'm happy again...'

'The Chinese delegation is here. They're wearing masks, to avoid exposure to the epidemic of fear.'

'My wife misread the invite and packed the wrong suit.'

AI Summit

"Would you like to have a drink with me after the genocide panel?"

"That's the report. Now, would anyone like to carp?"

A Puppet Named Juan

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Communication Breakdowns

Chaos Theory Conference.

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'