Conference Attendance T-Shirts

'All these conferences look the same.'

'I hope they provide heaters and a change of clothing.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

The interested bystanders.

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

Conference Pears

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'And in conclusion.'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'Let me present today's speaker.'

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

Communication Breakdowns

Chaos Theory Conference.

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...