Conference Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Please welcome our first speaker who will discuss 'The Challenges of Globalisation'.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

The interested bystanders.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Indeed - you're Mr. Gurkenman! After all the 200m meetings I remembered you much smaller!"

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Conference Pears

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'And in conclusion.'

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Communication Breakdowns

Chaos Theory Conference.

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

'Would the person who's inhaling the very life out of this meeting please stop it right now?'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

Office worker on desert island on cell phone: 'No, I haven't seen the minutes.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

'Pick a business card.'

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,