Concrete Connoisseur Gifts

"It needs a dash of gravel, I reckon."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Instructional guide to scribbling

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

Dog Walker

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

Shaved Ice

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

Crane fishing

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

About the potter.

Man-made vs dog-made

"No, we're looking for a roofer, not a woofer."

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

Thor's Other Tools

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'It's a good building contract legally, but your jargon's weak.'

'After sinking all our money into our website, we couldn't afford to finish our building.'

'Look dear - the first skip of spring...'

Jake wonders if the manufacturer went a little too far with its new earth mover product line.

'Best bit of winter pipe lagging I've seen for ages...unfortunately, that's just the scaffolding.'

'When you're right, you're right. When you're wrong, you're fired.'

Build bridges, not walls. Unless it's housing. Then it's better to build walls.

'Oh no! I've had tons wiped off my footprint.'

'He believes in making a good impression.'