Computer Crash Aficionados Gifts

Computer technicians with too little training.

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

Damn predictive text, did you mean to break up with me or 'brick my tit'?"

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

"I'm still worried about not finding the end of your finger."

Test dummies in car, "Oh my god dave, look out for that wall!"

"I'd like 40 kilos of pain killers, please."

'Oh, no -- not again!'

"What a time for it to go on the bunk!"

'We have a new tribe member everyone. We will call him'Crashes-His-Volvo.'

"A glitch in production - everyone gets a prune omelette with sardines."

401 Error

Bumper stickers in the Demolition Derby.

'No, something really slinky -- I wrecked the car!'

Finally, as one Systems Designer to another....

'You've been in many accidents so we'll have to rate you higher for an auto insurance policy.'

"You can have all my treats for a week if you promise not to tell anyone I dropped my phone in the toilet."

Forgot that the return key would actually send the text.

'I switched it to a TV cable modem, and now it just watches 'I Love Lucy' all day!'

IRS: 'I haven't filed because my computer's been down since 2007!'

Crash test dummy standing by his car.A sign on it says 'My other car is a write off'.

Relax Frank, it's my day off

Marvin and the new airbag

"I had the right of way, but the other guy had the truck."

Bollard Crash

"Guess who I bumped into in the car park. Your boss."

"It's okay. I've got pet insurance."

"You need to get out here – we just had another texting-while-walking mishap."