Compliance Whiz Gifts

"Son, you're old enough now to learn about something we call 'compliance'...."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Staff support"

Out and In.

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

August is corporate earnings restatement season.

Dr. Unzimer's mother appears... "Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

'This is a very dysfunctional company. No one will talk aboaut about the elephant in the boardroom!'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

'Nice work. A fluid work force with a minimum of drips.'

'You remember Mr. Horton? You know, the one you said to give the 'clean desk' award to? -- you fired him three years ago.'

"Is there any way we can skip right to adulthood and start being in charge?"

'Hang on a minute! We forgot to write down that check number in the giant register...'

"I can see you and I'm still too busy."

'I need someone to fill my shoes and be in them when the SEC come calling.'

Access Assessments

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

'Can Hart, Wendell, Blaine & Norbrook come out to merge?'

'These are the people who'll be line managing you.'

GDPR compliant

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

'He's the most important man here - He writes the compliance procedures for the DEPARTMENT of Compliance!'

Super hero enforces handicapped parking law.

'I'm fully organized. Now I can freak out in some kind of order!'

'You're a spineless, craven, frightened little man, Bradberg - I like that in an employee.'

'We don't want to interfere to much, just a couple of things...what you do and how you do it!'

'Run this by 'Legal,' but sprint it by 'Ethics.''

'Easter already, time to start writing the Christmas cards.'