Compliance Connoisseur Gifts

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

"Son, you're old enough now to learn about something we call 'compliance'...."

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'I need someone to fill my shoes and be in them when the SEC come calling.'

Access Assessments

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

"Never forget...if you bend a law enough, it becomes a loophole!"

GDPR compliant

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

"And should you retain us, Mr. Hodal, you'll find that we're more than just a law firm."

'He's the most important man here - He writes the compliance procedures for the DEPARTMENT of Compliance!'

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

"Damned if they do and damned if they don't? This is BRILLIANT work, everybody! Why didn't we think of this before?"

Super hero enforces handicapped parking law.

'We don't want to interfere to much, just a couple of things...what you do and how you do it!'

'You're a spineless, craven, frightened little man, Bradberg - I like that in an employee.'

'Run this by 'Legal,' but sprint it by 'Ethics.''

'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'

"Hold on. To avoid getting sued, I'll have to run it by legal."

"I downloaded this public sector tender we should consider bidding for. I’m hoping that these new Procurement Regulations will make it a less tortuous exercise." "Based on that first page I suggest nothing has changed..."

'The FSA is keen on new ways to get it's message across...'

All items year zero compliant

'A regulatory body is here to see you!'

Desk Organizers: 'Comply with Government Regulations and Guidelines.'

'Have legal check it out. If there are regs, and everyone finds ways to avoid them, are there really regs?'

'I absolutely refuse to sign anything which requires a microscope and a stepladder to read it!'

Man with health and safety clipboard follows the Olympic Torch relay.

"This bidder has the same name as you, and your face as their logo and you scored them top marks throughout this tender evaluation. Did you understand the conflict of interest declaration you signed?!"