Compliance Conundrum Enthusiasts Gifts

'Our improved customer satisfaction is offset by lower government satisfaction.'

Desk sign: "Yes, sir"

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

'Dalrymple came to us from the public sector.'

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

'I need someone to fill my shoes and be in them when the SEC come calling.'

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

"Never forget...if you bend a law enough, it becomes a loophole!"

"So we are four days into the new Procurement Act. How are you feeling?"/"I am ok and everything seems to be fine, but I miss the anticipation."

'He's the most important man here - He writes the compliance procedures for the DEPARTMENT of Compliance!'

'Dodd Frank Chopper at 2 o'clock!'

'One more thing - find out if the new Securities and Exchange Commission head grants group amnesty.'

Non-metric speak your weight machine

Anti-litter by-law in effect

'H&S say we can't serve you food in case you get fat...another glass of room temperature water?'

'We are from the F.B.L.'

'Run this by 'Legal,' but sprint it by 'Ethics.''

'The lobbyists' bucks stop here'

'The FSA is keen on new ways to get it's message across...'

All items year zero compliant

"I downloaded this public sector tender we should consider bidding for. I’m hoping that these new Procurement Regulations will make it a less tortuous exercise." "Based on that first page I suggest nothing has changed..."

"Hold on. To avoid getting sued, I'll have to run it by legal."

Desk Organizers: 'Comply with Government Regulations and Guidelines.'

'Ms Wayne, check with the legal department. Why must we obey the rules?'

Screwed Again By New Credit Card Rules.

This is a RED TAPE production Area.

"Relax! They'll be gone soon. . ."