Compliance Guru Gifts

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

"Son, you're old enough now to learn about something we call 'compliance'...."

"This is part of the privatisation I don't like."

'Just how informal is this constitution?'

'I need someone to fill my shoes and be in them when the SEC come calling.'

Access Assessments

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

"You're V.P.N. says you're on another planet."

"Never forget...if you bend a law enough, it becomes a loophole!"

GDPR compliant

"It concerns me when you say he doesn't come to you when called."

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

'He's the most important man here - He writes the compliance procedures for the DEPARTMENT of Compliance!'

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

Super hero enforces handicapped parking law.

"As most MPs are lawyers that should give you a clue as to the mess we are in!"

'I can't help politicizing everything!'

European Union versus Big Tech

'You're a spineless, craven, frightened little man, Bradberg - I like that in an employee.'

The Dilemma of a Whistle Blower

Noise machines for dogs.

No attitudes beyond this point

'We don't want to interfere to much, just a couple of things...what you do and how you do it!'