Regulation Guru Gifts

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'I can assure you our x-ray procedures follow very strict health and safety guidelines.'

"This is Brad. If there's a loophole, he'll find it."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

"Please, James...will you stop worrying whether the baby will meet all government regulations!"

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

Political Issues

'My problem is that I am an informed citizen.'

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

'Dalrymple came to us from the public sector.'

"This is part of the privatisation I don't like."

Osborne's Tax Cuts

News and Magazines. New Economic Regulations. "New economic regulations" --- What do you suppose they are? "Come to a complete stop"?

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'

'Just how informal is this constitution?'

Still the Same

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

'...but our most useful publication is the 'Journal of Don't-Do-It: It's-Already-Been-Done.''

Two steps backwards-one step forward.

Caution: Crumbling Economies

"So we are four days into the new Procurement Act. How are you feeling?"/"I am ok and everything seems to be fine, but I miss the anticipation."

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

J. P. Morgan whale harpooned by bank regulators.

'Run it by legal and then a couple of talk-show hosts.'

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

'Dodd Frank Chopper at 2 o'clock!'