Compliance Critic Gifts

'I've been here so long I don't remember what I did, but it had something to do with non-compliance.'

'Whoa! - Adam and Eve are WAY out of compliance!'

"Never forget...if you bend a law enough, it becomes a loophole!"

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

Automatic Congressman

Justitia, the goddess of justice, is picking a dollar bill from the ground.

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Disappearing Democracy

'Cutting back to a single securities regulator is a good idea. After that, one more reduction and our troubles are over.'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

'That damn racial scandal.'

Goal!

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'I need someone to fill my shoes and be in them when the SEC come calling.'

Access Assessments

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

'There are some subjects that are off limits...CEO bonuses...Overtime pay...Business ethics...'

"VIP's are coming. Quick! Hide the visionaries."

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

Penitentiary (No Criminal Testing).

GDPR compliant

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

'I'm holding firm against any government health plan.'