Complaints Handler Gifts

"Perhaps you're to blame for having unrealistic expectations."

"I think a positive attitude goes a long way in customer service."

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

'Yes,and what seems to be your trouble?'

Complaints department officer with corks in his ears.

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

"I don't care about your various ailments. I'm the one who complains to you."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

'Last guy that worked here did nothing but complain.'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Complaints Desk

"I said FETCH! Not KVETCH!"

'It's Mr. Stebbins...he's getting back to you with a vengeance.'

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

Awkward customers.

'Of course I care, madam!'

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

Ryanair refunds

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

'I know I can handle the complaint department. I've been married for 20 years.'

Customer Service. I only handle complaints -- What you have is a beef?

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

'Every complaint is a 'learning experience', now we're going to learn how to hide them behind the filing cabinet!'

"This vinegar's got lumps in it."

"I don't get it...my boss once said that he loves animals...just last week he called me 'the laziest dog he did ever see.' But yet he fired me..."

Complaint clerk presses button to drop customer through trap door

"I don't know how you managed it madam, but you have got though to someone in authority."

Customer Service - 'No - I demand to speak to your real manager!'