Complaint Handler Gifts

Awkward customers.

I'd like to register a formal complaint.

"Well, at least he died doing what he loved."

You have reached the halfway point in your wait time. To hang up now would be foolish. However, to stay on the line would be equally foolish, since we lied about your wait time.

'-and remember,Higgins-it's the fault that counts!'

'Yeah, well, we've had complaints about you too, Madam...'

Complaints: 'And another thing...!'

Complaints.

Ring bell for service.

Customer information closed - 'Very informative!'

Faulty Toaster

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

'Last guy that worked here did nothing but complain.'

Complaints Desk

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

"I said FETCH! Not KVETCH!"

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

'It's Mr. Stebbins...he's getting back to you with a vengeance.'

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

'Of course I care, madam!'

Ryanair refunds

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

'I know I can handle the complaint department. I've been married for 20 years.'

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

"I don't get it...my boss once said that he loves animals...just last week he called me 'the laziest dog he did ever see.' But yet he fired me..."