Complaints Handler T-Shirts

"Perhaps you're to blame for having unrealistic expectations."

"I think a positive attitude goes a long way in customer service."

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

'Yes,and what seems to be your trouble?'

Complaints department officer with corks in his ears.

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'Last guy that worked here did nothing but complain.'

Complaints Desk

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

'It's Mr. Stebbins...he's getting back to you with a vengeance.'

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

Awkward customers.

'Of course I care, madam!'

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

"I don't get it...my boss once said that he loves animals...just last week he called me 'the laziest dog he did ever see.' But yet he fired me..."

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

"This vinegar's got lumps in it."

'Every complaint is a 'learning experience', now we're going to learn how to hide them behind the filing cabinet!'

'I know I can handle the complaint department. I've been married for 20 years.'

Complaint clerk presses button to drop customer through trap door

"I don't know how you managed it madam, but you have got though to someone in authority."

Customer Service - 'No - I demand to speak to your real manager!'

Complaints department.

'-and remember,Higgins-it's the fault that counts!'

'You walked through the park to get here, didn't you, Modom?'

"Look, I'm always happy to help customers with their problems. But you're talking to the wrong idiot."

"Your issue should be simple to resolve. I'll just go and get someone less qualified to help you."