Compatibility Theorist Pillows

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

She loves to play with string theory.

Fluffy explains her string theory.

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"I told him we needed more string."

"Harold, you've changed."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"I want to get married and start a family with you—although God knows who I'll want to finish it with."

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

"Why won't you cuddle?"

Strangers. friends. Lovers. Spouse.

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Are you growing that mustache to make me break up with you?"

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"Oddly enough I'm flattered my wife's attorney thinks I'm so successful."

"Am I a happy man or just an asymptomatic one?"

'When you're in love, it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life!'

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

'Look, I want you back, but I'm not going to beg.'

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'