Compatibility Analyst Pillows

Hi. I'm Rudy. You're not my type. Pardon? I was going to start a conversation and then ask for your email. But I realized you probably wouldn't be interested. What? I preempted your rejection! It's not longer safe to leave the house.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

Always Compatible

"I meant the dog!"

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

Romance is more difficult for robots than it is for people. Sure, we can check for compatibility by comparing operating systems but until battery technology improves, all our relationships will be on-again, off-again. Worst of all, we can't handle passion. When the sparks are flying a romance blowup will follow.

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

Progress?

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

"This new system is too complex...pass it on."

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

"It takes a while for technological advances to benefit everybody equally."

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

Intelligent Sexual Design

"Here's what we've accomplished so far"

Money Today: "Ours is a cybercurrency. It's not a virtual currency or a cryptocurrency."

'Oh-oh- planned obsolescence!'

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

Access Assessments

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

"Thank you all for attending this first conference of the surveillance camera recording industry."

Facebook in Crisis

'Of course I love her - but I'm not in love with her.'

'With my new phone I can lie out of both side of my mouth 24/7.'

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

"Notice, gentlemen, how after two hours of phone deprivation, the subject reverts to a pre-natal state."

'The Girl Who Can't Say No Meets The Boy Who Won't Grow Up'

"Arrows won't work on him. Use a taser."