Interaction Analyst Pillows

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

Awkward First Dates

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

Relationships.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

"I meant the dog!"

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"I've had you appraised."

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"I need a more interactive you."

"You can't let the tick birds continue to define you."

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

"Don't even think about it."

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"Are you uncomfortable discussing this because I'm a man or because I'm your husband?"

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

"According to the statistics in this article, you should be my ex-husband and be three months behind in alimony payments."