Compatibility Theorist Gifts

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

She loves to play with string theory.

"Harold, you've changed."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

Fluffy explains her string theory.

"I told him we needed more string."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

"I want to get married and start a family with you—although God knows who I'll want to finish it with."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Strangers. friends. Lovers. Spouse.

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

"Are you growing that mustache to make me break up with you?"

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"Oddly enough I'm flattered my wife's attorney thinks I'm so successful."

"Am I a happy man or just an asymptomatic one?"

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

'When you're in love, it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life!'

Romance is more difficult for robots than it is for people. Sure, we can check for compatibility by comparing operating systems but until battery technology improves, all our relationships will be on-again, off-again. Worst of all, we can't handle passion. When the sparks are flying a romance blowup will follow.