Compatibility Comic Gifts

'She and I have the same likes and dislikes. I like me and she dislikes me.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

Always Compatible

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Act your shoe size, not your age.'

A girl with a dog and balloons

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

"If you two lovebirds could wrap it up I'd like to pee there please and thank you."

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

'Oh, pretty good. At least I'm not hearing voices telling me what to do anymore. . . got fired and divorced.'

Lenny, the Fifth Wheel of the Apocalypse

"Can you hear me now?"

"For your information, this 'stuff' happens to be my husband!"

'My wife thinks it was a cheap, sordid affair, but she's wrong. The motel cost me fifty dollars and I spent another twenty on the vibrating bed!'

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

An old couple are leaving a supermarket the man has a t-shirt saying 'I've got Viagra' the woman has one saying 'I've got a headache.

"Now what did I do?"

"Yes, I would love to come out for a drink with the lads, but I don't think my wife is too keen."

"After you and Sara got married, have your text messages changed?"

We aren't talking about you -- I said "ribbit"!

'Your beard tickles.'

'You feel boxed in?'

It's to celebrate 24 wonderful hours without an argument.

"You knew I was grounds for divorce when you married me."

"Just leave the hat on and maybe my parents won't notice."

"What took you so long?"

'It was a little muffled, but it sounded like, ‘Back off, moron, she's taken.'

'My wife ran off with a Greek fisherman, but I got his cap!'

'You should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

'Let me guess - your barmaid doesn't understand you either!'