Comic Couples Gifts

"A SECOND honeymoon - but what was wrong with the first one?"

Stand-up Romcom

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

'Act your shoe size, not your age.'

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

'You're becoming so distant, Els!'

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

'We're doing so well together: What do you think of me becoming monogamous?'

"I want to make it with you."

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

"We have met today because you, Cynthia, and you, Kevin, now want to look together for a scapegoat to blame for your stupidity, your laziness, your total failure, and for your antisocial behaviour."

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

"If you two lovebirds could wrap it up I'd like to pee there please and thank you."

"I'll start dancing like Fred Astaire, when you stop dancing like Nellie the Elephant!"

'Oh, pretty good. At least I'm not hearing voices telling me what to do anymore. . . got fired and divorced.'

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

'My wife thinks it was a cheap, sordid affair, but she's wrong. The motel cost me fifty dollars and I spent another twenty on the vibrating bed!'

'That holiday I booked for my wife to the Galapagos Islands? She found her way back, so can we try another destination?'