Modern Couple Comics Gifts

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"You may now kiss the bride."

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Don't talk to me in your 'Hey Siri' voice."

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

"The secret of our relationship? Easy. She just acts as if I don't even exist."

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

'We're doing so well together: What do you think of me becoming monogamous?'

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"If you two lovebirds could wrap it up I'd like to pee there please and thank you."

'You're becoming so distant, Els!'

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

'Oh, pretty good. At least I'm not hearing voices telling me what to do anymore. . . got fired and divorced.'

'My wife thinks it was a cheap, sordid affair, but she's wrong. The motel cost me fifty dollars and I spent another twenty on the vibrating bed!'

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

"They're a very forward thinking couple. He gathers and she hunts."

"I just called you over the intercom to tell you your wife's here. Sir?"

"For your information, this 'stuff' happens to be my husband!"

"I now pronounce you 'romantically linked'."

An old couple are leaving a supermarket the man has a t-shirt saying 'I've got Viagra' the woman has one saying 'I've got a headache.

"Now what did I do?"

"Will you please shut up! I'm trying to talk to Alexa!"

'Your wife phones to say you left the toilet seat up in the bathroom again sir!'

"This is my husband. He's a rescue."

"Alexa - tell my husband he's wrong."

"I know you're upset and you're giving me the silent treatment. Thank you."

"Yes, I would love to come out for a drink with the lads, but I don't think my wife is too keen."

'Hi, Honey. Just calling to tell you Ted and I are going to split a beer and then I'll be right home.'

'Let me guess - your barmaid doesn't understand you either!'