Modern Couple Comics Gifts

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"You may now kiss the bride."

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Don't talk to me in your 'Hey Siri' voice."

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"If you two lovebirds could wrap it up I'd like to pee there please and thank you."

"Are you, Michael on the same page as Melissa?"

'We're doing so well together: What do you think of me becoming monogamous?'

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

'You're becoming so distant, Els!'

'Oh, pretty good. At least I'm not hearing voices telling me what to do anymore. . . got fired and divorced.'

"I now pronounce you 'romantically linked'."

"They're a very forward thinking couple. He gathers and she hunts."

"For your information, this 'stuff' happens to be my husband!"

'My wife thinks it was a cheap, sordid affair, but she's wrong. The motel cost me fifty dollars and I spent another twenty on the vibrating bed!'

"Oh, my arthurs a breeder too, contempt mainly!"

"Now what did I do?"

'Your wife phones to say you left the toilet seat up in the bathroom again sir!'

"Will you please shut up! I'm trying to talk to Alexa!"

"This is my husband. He's a rescue."

"Alexa - tell my husband he's wrong."

"Yes, I would love to come out for a drink with the lads, but I don't think my wife is too keen."

'You feel boxed in?'

'Hi, Honey. Just calling to tell you Ted and I are going to split a beer and then I'll be right home.'

"You knew I was grounds for divorce when you married me."