Company Award Ceremonies Gifts

'My boss made me 'employee of the month'.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

Build Your Own Portfolio

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Teamwork

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

Internet.

Win - win

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Innovation tray covered in ivy.

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'When I say we all need to make sacrifices, I, of course, didn't mean us.'

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.