Community Dinners Gifts

"Where do we put Desserts?"

A crowd of happy pet owners.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'A cheeky red?'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

AA Meeting Here Today

See you at the farmers market!

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Church Basement Foodie

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

Midwest Winter Items.

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

Maypole

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

The Last-Minute Halloween Costume Parade

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

Suburban street.