Dinner Gatherings Gifts

'How come whenever Connie has a party she always invites the same people we don't know?'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Party time.

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'