Community Diner Gifts

Church Basement Foodie

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

Simulated travel...dine with us in local cafes & pretend you're in London, Paris, Tokyo, Mexico City, etc...

Ketchup Kafe...Where Kondiment is King!

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

"The flounder's not bad, but it's you I'm nuts about."

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"You need a hobby."

Martian restaurant and take away

"Guac-A-Mole"

'Thanks for the invite: Don't cook anything fancy, I eat pretty much anything...'

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

'It's my idea of a seven course meal... a hot dog and a six-pack of beer!'

"Baldo, why are you eating dessert first?"

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather eat this not knowing what the latest science suggests."

"When they said it was 'street food' I didn't realise it was all 'roadkill'!"

" 'Tonight's Specials,' a poem."

"I'm sorry it's not what you ordered, but the chef works in mysterious ways."

'I'd like to eat out for a change.'

'Hey buddy.Pass that bottle of ketch up here will ya'.'