Group Diner Gifts

'...Okay...so who had the thirteen bottles of Chardonnay?'

'OK that's ten pieces of silver each, except for Judas...you had the Greek salad and the cheese platter, so you owe thirty pieces of silver.'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Countervailing Clichés.

Church Basement Foodie

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'How is the water prepared?'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

Simulated travel...dine with us in local cafes & pretend you're in London, Paris, Tokyo, Mexico City, etc...

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'You made me jump,'

'Oh boy, my favourite: Cheese Fondue...'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"The flounder's not bad, but it's you I'm nuts about."

You ARE entitled to return a meal...But NOT after you've eaten it!!

Did you slice this beef? You nearly missed.

'All right, I agree with you.'

Cafe offers corn several ways.

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'