Commode Connoisseur T-Shirts

"This stool shall pass."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Bookworm Sleepover

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Choose, Fenster

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'Idle' Home Exhibition

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

'It's Blurred.'

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

Second aid

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"We're gonna need a bigger comic."

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

Bats with blankets.

"They've got insulation to die for!"

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

'All You Can Eat Wings.'

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."