Comb-over Connoisseur T-Shirts

Comb over club.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"This stool shall pass."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

'Choose, Fenster

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

'It's Blurred.'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

Bats with blankets.

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"We're gonna need a bigger comic."

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

Moliere

'All You Can Eat Wings.'

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

C Day Lewis.

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Sleigh Ride

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.