Comb-over Connoisseur Gifts

Comb over club.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

'Choose, Fenster

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'It's Blurred.'

Bats with blankets.

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"We're gonna need a bigger comic."

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

Moliere

Charles Dickens.

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

Bleak House

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Sleigh Ride

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'