Commercial Star Gifts

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

"How come you got an offer to do commercials and I didn't?"

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Soaring Profits

Your ad here!

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

'How are we going to achieve our goal this year?'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

'With our marketing budget so limited our best chance is to make commercials that are SO bad that they'll go viral.'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

Biker chopper shopper

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

"Hmm.... now I hadn't noticed THAT before..."

'Big-time operators are standing by....'

'Thank goodness for these commercials on the nightly news or we'd never be aware that we need all these prescription medications.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer addict

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

ALMOST SLEEPING BEAUTY

"Not just rocks--tools!"

'Of course he's an actor. When was the last time you saw a kid enjoy something that was good for him?'

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

Where Are They Now?

"Play it like, sure, the world sees you as just a hamburger, but you know there's so much more to you than that."

'Welcome to the rat race.'

Galerie de Commerce: Invoices of the Post-Impressionists

'And now for some fresh and existing commercials before we get back to our dull, uninteresting, and hum-drum story.'

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

'Hey! -- that Maytag repairman is an impostor!'