Commandment Coders Gifts

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

The Ordered List

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Does it come on Disc?'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

New Years Reolutions

'These are a little harsh. Why don't you take time off for some r and r and rewrite them when you're in a better mood?'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

It takes 2000 laws to enforce the 10 commandments.

'The bad news is, 'Though shalt not kick thy dog' was dropped.'

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

"They broke all the Commandments. Can they have some more?"

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'

These tablets are heavy. Didn't you create the internet on the fifth night? Couldn't you just post these commandments on your blog?

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

Moses with the Ten Commandments on a Ski Lift

"Behold, the ten commandments of highly successful people!"