Commandment Coders Gifts

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

The Ordered List

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Does it come on Disc?'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

New Years Reolutions

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

"They broke all the Commandments. Can they have some more?"

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

It takes 2000 laws to enforce the 10 commandments.

'The bad news is, 'Though shalt not kick thy dog' was dropped.'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

Moses with the Ten Commandments on a Ski Lift

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

These tablets are heavy. Didn't you create the internet on the fifth night? Couldn't you just post these commandments on your blog?

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

"Behold, the ten commandments of highly successful people!"

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'