Comical Celestial Being Enthusiast Gifts

"Well, I made it. A little singed and smelling of smoke, but still here."

"Good game."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

"Whoa. Have you lost weight, professor?"

No caption. (An astronomer looks through a high-powered telescope while a baby in a crib looks through a hand-held scope).

'Is this a cirrocumulus or what?'

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

You are everywhere.

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

'Whoops!'

'I've had a toothache for the last million light years, take me to your dentist.'

'I hate to break it to you, but moons don't grow up to be planets OR stars.'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

Sun Wearing Sunglasses/Moon Wearing Night Vision Goggles

Efforts Results In Seeing Stars

"Gazing at stars really makes you realise the insignificance of your co-workers."

'He seems nice.'

New Years Reolutions

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

'They're plowing you? -- how does it feel?', 'Groovy!'

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

"All I'm saying is that you'd sell a lot more if you had Mary on the cover."

'I miss the evildoers.'

Shoot for the moon or die in the vacuum of space

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo

CPA. It looks like some of our clients might have tax problems this year. Halley's Comet files a return only once every 75 years. And the black hole seems to be hiding lots of income. Neither Pluto nor Mars can pay what they owe. Pluto's assets are frozen. And Mars isn't called the "Red Planet" for no reason. I think earth might be the only one getting a refund. Of course, it has billions of dependents!

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'