Comic Collection Mavens Gifts

'I'm an atheist!'

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

The Shrinking Dollar.

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

'First, the Rules of Engagement for this meeting ...'

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

The Cattle show Week.

'No-one buys these stylish frames for their eyes, usually it's for their Facebook photo's.'

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

"Your mascara is running."

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

After exhaustive auditions, Rudy Park hires a new writer. You should've seen the brawl that broke out between Rowling, Twain and Watterson. They all really wanted the gig … until they heard what it pays. So who'd we hire? Darrin Bell. The guy who draws us. That clown? Shhh!! What? I'm not afraid of him. To be continued …

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

'All those opposed, signify by using the usual sign.'

'I can't remember. Edith, am I forgetful?'

Do you look like your pet ?

More than two million years have passed between the evolution of the opposable thumb and the invention of the wheel.

"My secretary just made me aware of the necessity of investing in the beauty industry."

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

I'm sorry Keith but the last thing I want to do right now is KISS and make up!

"I'm glad I found the time to join this meeting, otherwise we wouldn't see each other in years!"

Houdini tries to get out of dinner with his in-laws.

Wall Street .

Announcing the Fad Herald. I am not worthy. Coffee. Black. Straight coffee. Are fancy espresso drinks out? Is that your pronouncement? No pronouncement. My hours have been cut back. I'm here on my own time. Furloughs are in?! You're reading too much into this. Interpretations are out.

Space Turkey Aliens visit a family on Thanksgiving.

"I'm a local craftsperson - I make money."

'My Brew's really hoppy. . . I use the whole frog!'

Makeup! Makeup! Makeup!

"Double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and Botox bubble."

"Are you playing footsie with me?"