Comic Chef Gifts

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Night of the Latkes

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Thou Shalt Not!

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

Onion operation.

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Amy Sedaris

Bottomless bowl of soup

Chef De Party.

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

"More helium."

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

Alphabet soup

"A votre sante!"