Comedy Paddler Gifts

Canadian Canoe.

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

'I think it's time we came to grips with our addiction to buying kayaks.'

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

Guide fish.

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

Very drunk professional cyclist

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

"Which was harder to work out - quantum physics or his wife's mind"

Shark Chum

Another hot flash?

"I told you not to hold your breath when comping up!"

Fish Farm.

'I told you to keep the rice in a plastic bag.'

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

How Lawyers Evolved.

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

"If it gets boring, I can tell you how I borrowed money from the Mob, and how, right now, we;re actually on the run from them."

'What do you mean your paddling trip went so well you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home over a year ago!'

'I'm a Pisces.'

'Cut that out! Every time you jump in our pool, we have to refill it!'

Many clowns in rowboat

"Just a few more steps Wilson, we're still walking."

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

'You see these things, you don't bite them, you suck them out...'

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

"You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming..."

Canoe paddle with a bite mark in it.

"Has anyone fed the goldfish?"