Comedy In Education Gifts

It's good to expand successful schools, but isn't there a danger of over-extending the catchment area.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

Math Teacher

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

'People, get a half-life!'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

Geography class - UR Here.

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

'We don't know what this is called'

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

"OK, who can tell me why it's important to know stuff."

'Fortunately, I'm not driven by a deep need for validation.'

'The Big Beg Theory'